I will never forget what my best friend told me when I was a Christian and she was about to get married. She was a virgin at marriage. She was very proud about that. Her future husband was too. She said to me,”If you are with someone before marriage it is like cheating on your future spouse. “She truly believed that sexual experiences before marriage would lead to constant comparision of partners, etc.
Which leads me up to my sad story.
I met a Muslim man. He came here from a foriegn country in his twenties unmarried. He was very shy and stayed away from girls. Then he met a woman in her fifties at work. Somehow he got into a sexual situation with her. She ended up being married. But they continued to have sex. At one point the woman and her husband who later found out and didn’t seem to mind asked him to live with them. He felt as if he would be a sex slave for them and refused.
As time went on he found himself now addicted to this new behavior. He had lots of sex with lots of women, dating some longer than others. At one point he went home to get married.
He did a nikkah. He told me his wife was beautiful but he couldn’t sleep with her. He didn’t want her. He wanted what he had found in America. He eventually ended up divorcing her without even touching her. Now he goes from one meaningless relationship to the next just temporarily fulfilling his desires.
So this scenario makes you ask what happened to this guy? Where did he lose himself? Was it an older married woman who took advantage of him? Or was it his responsibility for being so foolish and putting himself in that situation?
Surprisingly and sadly he prays and he fornicates. Can he really respect God but not respect the body God gave him?
I tell this story because I have heard others like it and I want to warn those young men and women coming to the West or growing up here don’t put yourself in a position where you will “ruin yourself”. You will ruin your body and mind not only for yourself but also for others. Show yourself some respect and when tempted say I am too good for that I want to wait.
#relationships #sex #dating #marriage #Muslim
So I actually put myself back on an online dating site since I never go anywhere and all the people I go to school with are like 20 so I figured this would be my best chance to meet someone.
But it’s turned from a “dating experience” into kind of a “people watcher” thing for me, meaning I love looking at all the funny pictures.
Here’s some advice for men that put their pictures on online dating sites:
1. probably NOT a good idea to put a picture of yourself with a woman.. what are we supposed to think that is your sister.
2. Putting a picture of yourself with another guy. Well, how are we supposed to know who is who? Unless they are a different race and you list your race. Besides the fact that sometimes I think to myself is he bi?
3.Pictures with a giant dog on your lap. Can you tell I am not a dog fan. Anyways when the dog is bigger than you it is a little distracting.
4.Pictures of yourself smoking, drinking, doing drugs or here is my favorite pointing a gun at your head.. probably not a good idea.
5.Pictures of yourself in Halloween costumes.. Halloween comes once a year so that means the other 364 days out of a year it is not attractive unless of course you are Jewish and celebrate Purim but I think that is just for the kids anyways.
6.Pictures of yourself looking scary, intimidating or overly messy.. for most this is not a turn on. For those who it is she could be as scary as you so you better watch out.
Anyways always fun looking at just how corny New York can be.
Ok lost a friend to a #cult tonight. She is a member of the church I wrote about the other night. Let me repost that to recap:
“I went to a #church tonight with a friend. I must tell you what I witnessed. A woman went up to the front and made an announcement. The announcement was the following. There was a woman who was sexually immoral who had confessed who was causing division in the church. They were “marking her”. They named her and asked everyone to stay out of contact with her, unfriend her on every social media site such as Facebook and Instagram and basically not speak to her if they saw her. They said she would cause them to sin. (Which I did remind them that no one can make you sin. You are accountable for your own sins.)
I was disgusted. Who were they to judge. Their “God” tells them not to judge and that only those without sin should “cast the first stone”. And of course ALL of the women in that room had done some sin or another that is just a fact.
But what seemed to be this women’s mistake… she confessed.. and then of course to their dismay she “didn’t repent”. So she was brave enough to ADMIT she made a mistake unlike some others in that room probably so she was being judged.
A church is a house of God. No one has the right to kick someone out. And definitely no one has the right to tell people to disassociate with someone outside of church doors. They claimed what they were doing was scriptural but I thought it was cultish. Who gave them authority to decide such things? They said the bible gave them authority.
Personally I thought it was awful. It was backbiting and plain out right ganging up on someone.
Anyways I called her tonight. She wanted to discuss what happened at the church the other night. She wanted to CONVINCE me. In her eyes they are right. Especially since according to her the scriptures say someone can’t associate with a sinner who doesn’t repent. And that that person might cause you to stray.
I told her this:Every religion believes they are right and that their version is correct. You can’t agrue with any of them. I said to her my “Islamic marriage” it wasn’t legal right? It was polygamy right?He has a wife. And we were sleeping together right? So am I sexually immoral to you since you don’t agree with my religion? Will I cause you to stray? I said to her I don’t have to agree with what you believe but I accept it but I will tell you my opinion if you bring it up. BUT will you unfriend me like you did this woman because I do things differently then you out of my own personal choice? I told her a church should be a place where one can go even if they sinned a second before coming. They should always be welcomed with grace and mercy. I said in Islam it says you can repent to God till the day you die so giving this woman three chances is ridiculous. I said who are you to judge? You sin too. Everyone does, knowingly and unknowingly. She said I always repent. I hate to break it to these folks they don’t know what is in this woman’s heart or what is between her and God.
She said she was willing to give up friends and family for her church and she had. And that she didn’t want to be friends with me anymore.
I said fine. But I told her the definition of her church is a cult. And that when a church starts telling you who you can and cannot have in your life that’s when it starts getting scary.
#Racism #nationalism I got in an agrument with several Tumblrs yesterday. It all started with a Yemeni who didn’t mention the fact that he was Yemeni he just said he was happy that another “brown person” was in his office (his profile says he is from Yemen). He also criticized his boss a lot because she couldn’t get the pronunciation of the this guy’s name right when introducing him. He said white people don’t try hard enough.
Now a couple of people agree and liked it. And it really offended me. I can tell you from my own experience foriegners and Americans screw up my name and forget it again and again and I don’t come down on them or whole races. Plus many times foriegners mispronounce things and I am the last to giggle or criticize. If anything I have guided the person. Also the whole “brown” thing stood out to me. I pointed out to him that he shouldn’t be so obsessed with his color and that if he focused on it less maybe he would find himself being treated more equally and fairly. And that if he didn’t like whites why didn’t he go back to where his “brown people” are. Now remember he didn’t say he missed the culture of his country he specifically said skin color.
I had a bunch of people jump on me. They stated how could I pick on someone who missed home. They called me a racist and a bigot while at the same time calling me a “honky” and the “white lady”, told me I had no roots and were mocking my “brown” children. They also cursed me out.
Now I pointed out to two of them that “brown” can mean from Yemen to Morocco to India and that even some African Americans consider themselves “brown”.
It shouldn’t be about race, especially since these people are all #Muslim. What happened to no racism in Islam? And what about nationalism? I thought nationalism was Haram too. And the conversation was becoming very nationalistic as “white Americans” were then picked on.
But my final word about this is if you are from another country and move here PLEASE do not complain about “white Americans”. We might be becoming a minority but we have feelings too. And if you don’t like it.. move back home. If you miss “your people” go see them but don’t take out your frustrations on us.
One more note.. not all Yemenis are “brown” some are “white” as me.
About my #love I cannot lie,
I can’t stop loving him even if I try,
As days go by,
And the time flys,
I want to cry,
As I see him go by,
Together but alone,
I sit and wait by the phone,
When he is near,
I see everything I hold dear,
When he is gone,
I can only sit and listen to a sad song,
Emptiness fills me,
As I wish to break free,
But my love I cannot deny,
Even if I wanted to try,
As I walk down my street I see the Orthodox #Jewish kids smoking on the sides of the streets hanging out at all hours of the night. They dress in “Western clothes” and someone once told me “everyone does drugs here.”
As I stood in the store I heard the #Muslim man flirting with the young Spanish girl that walked in. “Do you want it from my house?” he says. She smiles and giggles.
I sigh and think to myself something that I often hear others say, “but they are people of God.”
Some people when they see Jews and Muslims still expect certain behaviors but we often see just the opposite. And it leaves the non religious and the religious both walking away confused and saying, “Did I really see that?”
But I suppose here in the West everything goes and the “#religious” just figure people “back home” won’t find out so who cares. Like a Muslim man once said to me, “In the mosque I am Muslim, in America I am free.”
It has nothing to do with Islam really. They just happen to be “Muslim”. When someone feels they have no future they do things that lead to no future. Basically it’s the principle of it’s all about your attitude.
When young men who are unemployed, frustrated and rebellious get together and say to themselves I want to get control back because I have none, I want to rule the world you get groups like #ISIS. Led by elders who know how stupid, lost and desperate these youths are. These older leaders connive to make these youth do anything they desire. And the youth.. what do they care. They have no future and no hope so blowing themselves up “for a good cause” sounds good to them. It sounds ridiculous but think about the present frustration of today’s youth. If you have ever been around teenagers you can see the boiling point some of them are at and often this goes to adulthood. It’s no wonder they get caught up into crazy movements.
My belief is if we had someone as conniving as Hitler today we would have young adults following him just like they follow Al Qaeda.
Young adults get into drugs, gangs and everything else. This is just another thing on the list. It’s not about religion guiding them it’s about them being lost.